


Tyenya

by Istezada



Series: D&D Bits and Pieces [3]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Original Work
Genre: Canon Typical Violence, F/M, Iulien is the angstiest of paladins, Letters Home, discussion of massacre, non-explicit discussion of kidnapping and rape, on a variety of levels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29989095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Istezada/pseuds/Istezada
Summary: A series of letters written by Iulien Trenar, paladin of Eldath, to her husband Kepel.
Relationships: Iulien Trenar/Kepel Ash
Series: D&D Bits and Pieces [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2205909





	1. Chapter 1

_Tyenya_ ,

This is probably a waste of paper. I try to believe that you have survived the last weeks in Rocksheer, that you're still alive to receive this letter. When I'm awake, I'm almost sure of it—as sure as I can be after what happened. Sleeping is another matter entirely. I dread sleep. My family were inexplicably spared. ~~Only Hel~~ I've seen Mattan and Ruamil since ~~the~~ I left. It doesn't stop the dreams. Do you ever feel guilty because we were all left alive? Are you still alive, _melindonya_ , you and the children?

I have, at last, come closer to finding who is responsible for the destruction of Hurtlepool and the deaths of so many. The read and silver and gold colors taht we saw belong to the personal armsmen of Lady Ilphas and, from what I have been able to discover, were worn that day by those sworn to her service. It is unspeakable to pray for a traitor in the midst of her officers or advisors, but to consider that a Lady might order this done to her own land and liege-men is horrifying. I do not know what ~~I~~ to do, Kepel. How is someone like me supposed to find the truth of this injustice? I killed seventeen men and women for what they did to Hurtlepool and I know that I am not done yet.

I have taken an oath to the goddess of singing waters. I swore to see that those responsible could never do this again. She accepted. She accepted, Kepel. She hates and avoids violence whenever possible. And she accepted my oath, bloodshed and death and all. An Eldathyn here has confirmed it, though he looked about as stunned as Kora did when we dumped a bucket of fish on her head. Not that angry. Just stunned.

I miss you.

I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I will do. I've taken an oath and I have no idea how to fulfill it. I can't very well walk into Lady Ilphas' council chambers and demand explanation. I am no one. I'm a smith, daughter to a smith, and I doubt _Atya_ 's family would count for much in the courts of Amana. I will do what is necessary to fulfill my oath. I know that, and the Lady of Groves is giving me a measure of peace about it. It terrifies me, just the same. Do I petition the king for justice? Do I kill my own liege lady or whomever is responsible with my own hand? What of their heirs, if there are any? Lady Ilphas, at least, had no children before Lord Gilcolm died.

I am grateful for the peace Eldath has given me about the task I have taken on, but I do not want to kill children. I am here because of the slaughter of children.

My touch can heal wounds now and my sword and _Atya_ 's hammer sometimes deal damage far beyond the capabilities of mere steel. I have met a young woman who feels everything as fiercely as she fights, and she has sworn herself and her weapons to my service. There's a halfling who thinks of himself, and everyone else, in terms of their usefulness, but has started calling me "mum" and seems to be falling in love with a tiefling sailor. In my more pleasant dreams, I would like to bring Rory home with me. She is shy and heartbreakingly unsure of herself, which ~~makes~~ is understandable, given that she is an orc-ish bard in an unaccepting world. Silriel and Fileg would adore her.

I have somehow become a leader to a band of strange people, most of whom fear each other or themselves, and none of whom want the same things—except occasionally in bed. I don't know yet if the alloy will be a useful one. Tempering is nicer when I am the one holding the hammer and not one of the metals being hammered into form. And it is one thing to layer metals, but these people are not iron and carbon, but living and breathing people that I dread getting killed on behalf of my oath.

Will you still know me when I come home to you, _indo-ninya_? I'm not sure I still know myself. I will still love you. That will change when _Shadrimmë_ stands still in the sky. I'm going to try to sleep now. Kiss Silriel and Filegnir for me ~~and tell them~~ Kiss them.

_Nyetya_


	2. Chapter 2

_Tyenya_ ,

Kiss the children for me.

My journeys have led me to Phenlath. They have led me to a massacred home, seemingly at the Emperor's behest. If you get this letter, it will mean that I have safely returned from there. I don't think it wise to send it where someone else might read it and object to my fury.

They were elves, some of them, and the youngest was Fileg's size and had your hair.

Their holding was burned and their bodies left on pikes along the road. ~~There were~~ I checked the cellars and they had hidden. Some of them had hidden. But not well enough.

What is this place, Kepel?

We took the bodies down and buried them. Trouble may come of that but ~~I~~ we could not leave them there to rot. They will rot before their time anyway, ~~but~~ It is done. Come what may of it.

Kiss the children for me. I miss you and the callouses on your hands against my face and snagging in my hair. I miss you.

_Nyetya_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is non-explicit discussion of kidnapping and rape in this chapter. Iulien is remembering a shared experience with her husband, so she doesn't need to go into _detail_ , but please read with caution if that is something that might trigger you.

_Tyenya_ ,

I think I'm going to Rhaas. I should seek the Lady's guidance and peace, but ~~I~~

Kepel, all I want is to fall into your arms and feel you hold me.

How can I go to Rhaas?

I have been traveling with a Rhaasian for some weeks now. He is very big, very good at killing, and impetuous in laughter and spite. He also has a very hands-on, practical approach to justice. ~~His~~ As a person, he is no better or worse than most people. His voice makes my skin crawl.

I haven't really thought about those days for years. ~~Their~~ The scars still mark us, of course, but your hands have wiped away their touch for so long that I'd forgotten. Not forgotten, maybe. Replaced? Covered? We are us now, not the terrified children we were then. We haven't been those children for a long time.

Tonight, I can't forget. I can't feel you and I can hear their laughter an jokes that didn't need to be translated. Making the pen form letters is the only thing keeping my hands from shaking right now.

One day, _melindonya_ , I'll come home to you. One day I'll be a blacksmith again. One day we will be able to shield each other again, like we've been doing for decades. It's only been a few months. It feels like so much less and so much more.

The Rhaasian is ~~worried~~ terrified about his family's well-being. He was asked about them, by name, by a Phenlathian official today and Phenlath ~~is~~ lends itself to terror. I cannot deny the reason behind his fear or his decision to go home. He did the nearest thing to beg for our help as I believe he is capable of saying aloud.

Imagine a Rhaasian trembling from fear and desire to protect his family, Kepel.

If it were anywhere but Rhaas, it would barely be a question. But it is Rhaas. And I am terrified.

Do you remember the nights we ~~spel~~ spent, learning to trust each other with our bodies like we had already learned to trust with our souls? I remember us taking turns, claiming each other as ourselves, stealing back every inch of skin they took. My fingers are too small, but if I touch the scar on the back of my neck, I can almost imagine that it's you, holding me steady after a long day. I can almost feel the mark on your face and the way your head ~~would~~ trembles as you settle back into your own skin and the life we had.

How can you be so far away, _verunya_? How can this be our life now. I'm writing letters. Hells, I'm doing a lot of writing. For me, it's a lot of writing.

How are the children? Silriel was well out of danger when I left, ~~but sickness like that can take time~~ ~~to~~ but I worry. Filegnir was so solemn. But we all were, of course. Is he always like that now? After what you all saw, I wouldn't blame him. I don't laugh as easily as I did in the autumn either. But it breaks my heart to remember his serious face staring at me and everyone else.

I'm going to try to sleep now. I will also, while I'm doing the impossible, try to not dream of anything older than fifteen years and younger than six months.

Why do we even have dreams?

I love you, Kepel. Kiss the children for me.

_Nyetya_


End file.
